You might be a Redneck if......

Aiken, SC

In November of 2010, Ricky New here goes to a little Mom & Pop store and literally does a "stick up." He uses a tree limb to assault the clerk and tells her to give him all their damn money. After he gets the loot, he hops on to his getaway vehicle, a Craftsman riding lawnmower, and flees the scene at a really slow rate of speed.

Local cops were pretty familiar with New's modus operandi so it didn't take long for them to take him in to custody for the assault and armed robbery.

July 2011- New goes  on trial and the jury finds him guilty of both charges, sentencing him to 18 years.


Seriously, you cannot make this shit up.

What's in a Name?

Walterboro, SC

This beautiful specimen looks and acts like your typical crackhead.

34 year old Shag Que-Tee Marshall, while armed with a gun, barges his way in to a residence that was occupied by 3 brothers, ages 15, 17 and 35.  He begins shooting at the 3, critically wounding the 15 year old, and grazing the 17 year old with a shot to the back of the neck.  All the while he's shooting, he's ranting about one of them talking to his girlfriend.  He said he would kill all of them, but according to the 35 year old brother, "he didn't have enough bullets."


When Marshall ran out of ammo, he fled the scene on foot. The 17 year old runs to a neighbor's and begins pounding on the door.  The resident, Ms. Gatewood, has 3 little girls, ages 3 to 8 and another on the way.  She calls the po-po.

In a coordinated effort; local police, Sheriff Deputies, and the State Law Enforcement Division all descend on the area, securing the crime scene and search for "Que-Tee" and the weapon he used. The State Law Enforcement Division gave valuable assistance by air, locating both.
Imagine if Reggie Lloyd was still in charge of S.L.E.D.?  That chopper probably never would have lifted off the pad.  Heaven forbid spending money to aid local law enforcement in a search for a wanted fugitive.
Meanwhile, the 15 year old was airlifted to the trauma center some 30 plus miles away where he remains on life support.


I don't know what Mr. Shag Que-Tee Marshall's mama was thinkin' when she named him.  I sure hope he was a "Que-Tee" baby cause he sure is one "Ug-lee" crackhead adult.


UPDATE:  The 15 year old dies from his injuries and Marshall is now charged with Murder.  It appears that the shooting was prompted over a young woman Marshall had chatted with on line.


The stupidity of crackheads never ceases to amaze me.

TSA - Getting a grope....er, grip.

Ah yes, we all know that there are just some people who should not be allowed out in to the real world without some kind of supervision.  Case in point....

This 61 year old Colorado woman was at the Phoenix, AZ airport checkpoint, where she was refusing to go through the appropriate screening process and was quite argumentative.  Without warning, she reached out and grabbed the TSA agent's breast and gave it a twist.  OUCH!




The police were called and she was subsequently arrested on a sexual abuse charge.

There's got to be easier ways to get a cheap thrill.

TSA - Grope or an X-ray?

Several months ago, the TSA announced that it would start publishing radiation test results of airport passenger and luggage screening x-ray equipment in an attempt to allay fears of exposure to high amounts of radiation.

Thus, begins their feeble attempt....
Once they initiated this procedure for ALL the x-ray stats, they really should have taken the time to brief and/or train the personnel on the information that they wanted gathered and how to do it.  The end result was that the TSA stated that they uncovered "anomalies" in some of the reports that included miscalculations and missing data.  Which, as is typical with government bureaucracy, no one knew what the hell they were doing.

I'll spare you all the scientific jargon associated with millirems and ions, but suffice it to say that Rapiscan, the manufacturer of the AIT or Advanced Imaging Technology, insists that there are fail safes in place that would prevent excessive exposure to radiation and that the machines would shut down long before it reaches a critical level.  (Yea, right, and there's that swamp land in Maine I want to sell....)

For those of you still reticent about being screened by the AIT, you can ask for a private groping session with a person of the same sex, to search you by hand.  It has been well documented that the TSA has been trying to conveniently hide that fact because they prefer to do it the easy way.  It was, and probably still is a point of contention from agents who develop a more than aggressive attitude about having to do it when passengers exercise that right. Deal with it!  If you feel you've received an unnecessary attitude, make a complaint later.

In this particular case  this female passenger screamed like a baby when a female TSA agent searched her by hand.  She acted more like a 4 year old brat having a temper tantrum.  Her son is filming the whole event, but I was bored with the video about half way through.  I just wanted to show you how NOT to act when you're being groped.  After all, your primary objective is to get on that plane. Some people are claiming that these folks were actors and that it was all staged.  One thing's for sure, if she were my Mother, it's a safe bet I would never travel with her again!

As for the AIT or full body scanner, the TSA would like us to believe that every time someone steps in to their scanner, it is viewed by an agent who is in a different location and cannot visually identify the person being scanned.  The agent inside this protective booth is not allowed to have a camera or phone while on duty.  Once the image of your naked body has been viewed, it is then deleted and is supposedly not archived any where.  As everyone, including the terrorists already know, the AIT cannot detect any kind of explosive device under your skin.  This is where I think bomb sniffing dogs should also be considered.  That idea is now being hotly debated with the cost effectiveness versus reliability being the argument.

Fast forward to Friday, July 15, when the Court of Appeals gave the TSA a proverbial slap on the hand  for not following the required procedure of public input and normal comment periods or "notice and comment rule making," when they installed and then initiated this body x-ray device and did so all with the blessing of DHS.

A great many web sites and blogs have been posting since Friday that the court has effectively shut down the naked scanners. However, the court also held that in the interest of public safety, it cannot all happen at once.  So if you're traveling, don't be surprised if they're still using the full body scanners. But remember, no person can be forced to endure the AIT so be prepared to enjoy the pleasure of a serious grope.

As for the 4th amendment claim that it violates a person's right to be free from an unlawful search and seizure-  The court held that "screening passengers in an airport is an 'administrative search' because the primary goal is not to determine whether any passenger has committed a crime but rather to protect the public from a terrorist attack."  Therefore, it is not unreasonable.

So here we are....at a crossroads.  You want to be groped or x-rayed? To fly or not to fly.

What was Granny thinkin'?

Charleston, SC

On Wednesday, July 13 the average outside temperature in the Charleston area was 97 degrees.  The heat index factor put that over 120 degrees as a "feel like" temp.  Yea, it was freakin' hot!

An 81 year old woman from the Charleston area is babysitting her great grandchildren, ages 8 and 9, who are visiting from Texas.  Yea, it's hot in Texas too!

Great granny needs to go to Wally World so the 2 kids and her pet dog load up in the car and head out.  Granny parks in a handicap spot and for whatever reason, the 2 kids and the dog are left in the car while Granny goes inside.  A Wally World employee happens by the car and sees the 2 children and dog in the car.  The windows are closed, the doors are locked, and the car is not running.  According to the Wal-Mart employee, the children and dog appeared to be in distress and it took both the employee and the store manager some time to convince the children to unlock the door and step out.  The children and dog were brought inside to the air conditioning and the police and EMS were called.

Once great granny gets back to the car, she is met by police.  She states she was only gone 20 minutes and the children didn't want the car on.  Video surveillance shows granny arriving and returning to her car some 56 minutes later.  That's an hour.  An hour where 2 kids could have been easily kidnapped and an hour where they could have all easily died in that car, had it not been for the quick thinking of a Wally World employee.

Well, the police arrest Granny and she goes to jail.

 At her bond hearing the next day, granny has an attorney speaking on her behalf.  Judge Linda Lombard interrupted the attorney, telling him not to blame the children for any of it.  Judge Lombard set the maximum bail amount of $25,000. for each charge of Unlawful Conduct towards a Child.  Her total bond of $50,000. sparked some outcry from family and friends, accusing the Judge of violating her 8th amendment right by setting an excessively high bond.  Granny has no criminal record and has never been in such trouble before.  Some say that since she's a church-goin', God fearing woman, she should have been released on her own recognizance or the bond should have been lower.


Granny was eventually bailed out of jail  and the children were turned over to relatives.  The dog made it too and Granny was given an appearance ticket to municipal court on a charge of cruelty to animals.

What was Granny thinkin'?

Hot Pursuit

I-95 from New York to Miami, FL is always loaded with drug runners, car thieves and assorted other felonious riff-raff.  Law enforcement can't stop them all, but sometimes they get lucky, often putting themselves in severe danger.

About 7 p.m. last night, a Dorchester County Sheriff's Deputy attempts a traffic stop on I-95 southbound in Nowheresville, SC.

The vehicle in question, a black Acura, initially slows down upon being lit up by the cruiser, but must have decided hauling ass was better.  The chase was on.  Pursuit speed ran as high at 100 m.p.h. and the jack offs must have stupidly thought shooting at cops would aid in their getaway.  Well, we know that only serves to piss off the police even more.
The occupants open the sun roof of the Acura and start firing at pursuing police cars, actually striking a cruiser 2 times.  What generally happens during a police pursuit when the occupants are shooting at police, is that there will be a copious amount of pretty little blue lights on your ass until you go down.  That's just what happened.  Different jurisdictions will come out of the woodwork to assist in any way they can.  You just don't shoot at the po-po and expect to get away with it.

One Deputy "PITs" the Acura, forcing it to go off the road, rolling over.  Unbelievably, the occupants aren't so injured that they can't come out of an over-turned vehicle shooting and running.  They didn't get very far.  The stretch of road where they crashed is a bit desolate and heavily wooded.  K-9 officers made short order of locating our 2 perps.  Charges of Attempted Murder, Failing to Stop for Police and Possession of a Stolen Motor Vehicle should keep their worthless asses in jail for awhile.

The most amazing part --  not one single shot was fired by police.  One Deputy suffered minor injuries after the car wreck and we wish him a speedy recovery.  As for the scumbags.....well, do we care?

As of yet, no dashboard video or radio transmission has been released, but when and if it is, I'll certainly post it.

It Ain't Easy Bein' a Crack Head

This is a story of too much stupidity all in one place.

These two fine middle aged men decide to make a deal.  A crack deal, that is.

44 year old Tony Murray and his friend, Cassius Clay Davis, 46 make a little drug deal, but Murray doesn't have enough money on him to pay Davis right now.  Davis has a moment of generosity and he lets Murray enjoy the fine vintage crack and he can pay him later. They later take a cab to the Wachovia bank so Murray can get the money to pay Davis.
Murray doesn't have enough money in his account so he apparently concocts this elaborate story about Davis having a gun, kidnapping him, and forcing him to get money from the bank. It's hard to tell what his reasoning for that story was.  Maybe he thought the teller would be sympathetic and give him the money anyway.  That's what crack does.  Makes ya really stupid. 
The teller promptly calls the police.

This touched off a chain of events that led to a 3 hour ordeal with police.  The suspects were both pulled out of the bank one by one and taken in to custody.  Because one of them had left a small black bag in the bank, the bomb squad was called out to examine the bag.  There was no signs of a bomb and the bank was cleared.

Oddly enough, the only crime Murray could be charged with was Filing a False Police Report.  Now drug dealer Davis was actually a victim in this particular situation....not because he was stiffed in a drug deal, but because he was accused of being an armed kidnapper.  However, Davis was no saint and has a lengthy criminal history himself.  There was also an outstanding drug warrant with his name on it.

The next day, Murray is before a judge for a bond hearing.  He made a feeble attempt at pleading to the judge that he was "trying to turn his life around" but she cut him off by reciting from his rap sheet.  He then foolishly attempted another ploy and thought he could persuade the judge that he was the victim of a crime, and he could prove it.  She set bond and was ready to move on to the next case when he mumbled something on the way out the door.  Judge Linda Lombard didn't quite hear it so asked the bailiff to repeat what he said.  He said, "That's crap!"  Judge Lombard didn't take too kindly to those words, slamming him with a contempt charge and rewarding him with 5 days in jail for cursing.  Well, I'm a little concerned with her interpretation of  "cursing" but I agree, it's still contempt any way you look at it.  Serves his stupid crack ass right!
That was quite a bit of police resources used needlessly for a couple of stupid crack heads.

The moral of this story is....No crack on credit.