The Amount of Stupidity

Have you ever wondered what kind of bullshit cops put up with every day?
The amount of stupidity some people possess is astounding. Sometimes cops are parents, counselors, babysitters, dog catchers, dumpster divers, etc. But first, they have to get past the dispatcher. You really have to feel for them. Their job is not easy. Dispatchers have to filter through a lot of the shit and determine what they can do about it and how.

If people call 911, which morons do with some regularity, it's a recorded line and they have to act upon it accordingly. Delicacy and diplomacy are in order. Who wants their attitude or conversation released to the news media for all the world to hear? It's bad enough that cops are also under the same scrutiny every single moment.

You can often tell by the wording or the tone of the dispatcher, how they just don't like putting out some of these calls for service. With the advent of technology, some calls for service can be handled over the phone. Certain messages can be sent by text "unofficially" thereby saving manpower, unnecessary fuel costs and recorded gaffes. People come to expect that there is always a police officer at the station house. Again, with manpower and equipment budget cuts, that's not always feasible. Every available cop needs to be on the street. Supervisors are now handling calls. It also depends on how big your city, town or county is.

Quite often, there is a civilian person or dispatcher behind security doors and a bullet proof window handling walk in issues. Once again, they tip toe through the bullshit. The average citizen will walk in expecting to speak with a police officer on demand and are often uncooperative when it comes to giving the person behind the window any information. People should remember that these folks have to determine if it warrants calling a police officer in off the street, if it can be handled by phone (always recorded) or if the civilian behind the glass can actually answer the question for them. The economy sucks so concessions have to be made.

I often don't get the pleasure (sarcasm) of observing the day-to-day duties of our communications personnel.
In fact, I sometimes can't leave that room fast enough.

With this story, I'll just throw in any kind of stupid I can remember from the last week.

*An obviously elderly woman calls 911 telling the dispatcher to send an officer over immediately. When pressed for info, she explains that she accidentally dropped her keys inside of her local government issued trash bin while wheeling it to the curb and she's too short to reach it. When told that we cannot do that, she throws the old, "I know the Mayor" crap out there. We still won't go.

*An actual 911 call from an obviously drunk woman complaining that her husband wants sex, she doesn't and he won't leave her alone. They're both polluted and it's really difficult to keep a straight face and....you just have a seriously strong desire to slap some sense in to them.

*A man calls 911 late at night complaining of a dog roaming the neighborhood. Sorry, it doesn't warrant a call out for animal control. He gets pissy and wants the number. Dispatchers give it to him knowing full well he'll only get a recording and have to leave a message.

*911 call because there's a suspicious car driving through a neighborhood at 5 in the morning throwing things at people's houses. It's the news paper carrier. Yea, they still do that.

*There's always those regular calls that when you hear the name or address, you just roll your eyes and ask, "Now what." Like the one woman who just cannot seem to keep her kid in line so wastes precious police manpower calling the cops every time her little brat mouths off. (Which seems to be every day and at least twice a day) Then there's your standard, every day, nut cases who like to call 911 and hang up, forcing dispatchers to send a cop over there immediately. They deny using the phone, blame the kids or the dog, or tell us the aliens are secretly tapping their phone lines and that's why the phone rings all by itself.

*A man walks in to the station, claims he lives in Wisconsin wants to get a copy of a 911 tape for his divorce and child custody hearing. He is informed that 911 recordings can only be obtained during normal business hours and that there is paperwork involved. He becomes irate, demanding it be released now. And then....he gets even more irate and refuses to believe that 911 doesn't have some central repository for EVERY 911 call made in the country. He accuses the civilian person of lying when told he must contact the police dept. in Wisconsin for the specific tape recording. This warrants a supervisor being called in because he refuses to stop acting like a loud and stupid moron in the lobby. It must be something in the cheese.

*Directing traffic around an accident scene and trying desperately to keep traffic moving, hoping you won't get run over or that no other accidents will occur because of rubber necking. There's always those idiots that want to hold up the line of traffic to stop and ask for directions or ask what happened. Seriously?

*A woman calls 911 because she can't find a babysitter and she needs to go get a pack of smokes. Could we send an officer to sit with her kids for 10 minutes? Really?

*I've listened to more than my share of conversations and recordings of people who dial 911 and the first thing out of their mouth is, "this isn't an emergency, but..."  Then there was the lady who called 911 who asked what the non-emergency number was only to turn around and immediately call back on the non-emergency line. Yes, some departments can afford caller ID.


*A woman calls demanding immediate response to an apartment complex because someone parked in HER handicapped spot and he doesn't have a handicap sticker or plate. Then she wants to know how long it will take. She calls a supervisor because after the officer responded and told her he couldn't write a ticket, but got the owner to move it, she was totally belligerent and wanted the supervisor to know he wasn't doing his job.
The idea of not being able to write parking tickets on private property just didn't seem to sink in.

*A woman calls 911 (twice) while she's driving and is asking for directions to a location some 100+ miles away. She didn't even know where she was and when it was finally narrowed down, she was told to stay on a specific highway, but it was recommended she stop and buy a map. The dispatcher politely advised her that most people plan their road trips out ahead of time and that 911 wasn't meant to guide people to their destination. The stupid woman later made a complaint about what the dispatcher said to her. I personally listened to the tape and didn't believe that a reprimand was in order for the dispatcher. Friggin bureaucrats! 


Too much stupid all in one week sometimes makes me want to bang my head against the wall and drink too much.
Retirement or a career change is looking very enticing.