The Birther Conspiracy

There was many a "Birther Conspiracy" theory that President Obama was not a natural born citizen, as is required under the Constitution and that he is thereby not qualified to serve as president.

At issue was his birth certificate. The State of Hawaii says they were inundated with requests for a copy of his birth certificate. Considering it privileged information, all requests for copies were summarily denied.
The State of Hawaii Health Director said that they would often get 10-20 requests per week, often from the same half dozen people.

People sued. In fact, quite a few.
Berg, Donofrio and Kershner, were prime examples of litigants who were intent on uncovering what they thought was a conspiracy to defraud the American people.

In an attempt to appease these many inquiries, a scanned image was finally released to the public.

The US Supreme court ruled that the birth certificate is in fact genuine, and that there is no obligation to continually release it to the general public other than in the above version. The Republican Gov., Linda Lingle, then signed a bill that allows state officials to ignore duplicative requests for birth records. Because of that, requests dissipated.

Ok, maybe privacy is a concern as I'm not real comfortable with some moron obtaining my birth certificate and stealing my identity. Oh alright, that may be an extreme reason, but privacy is paramount, especially to the US President.

Now, for the grand finale -

5 Democrats introduced legislation that would allow anyone to obtain a copy of the President's birth certificate for a minimal fee of $100.00.  For this fee, it would entitle the person making the request to a certified copy from the state office and NOT the scanned copy that was released by the President himself.
This legislation will still have to make it's way around the privacy laws that are already on the books.

The Democrats aren't taking themselves too seriously on this however, as Rep. John Mizuno stated that he "had no problem looking into innovative ways to bring revenue to the state."

I hope he's not thinking that a $100. fee is any kind of deterrent. Because some people will pay outrageous sums of money for some of the stupidest things.  And yea, this ranks right up there.


Whether you believe in this theory or not, there's not a damn thing we can do about it.  The majority voted him in and we're stuck with him for another 2 years.

The TSA reconsiders

On January 13, TSA Administrator John Pistole said in a speech before the American Bar Association that they were attempting to find less intrusive ways of screening the traveling public.

During his speech, he eluded to the fact that they were considering using a full body scanner that shows stick figures.

Their goal is to be as minimally invasive as possible.  Ah, little late on that end. The stick figure full body scanner is already in use in Amsterdam and the TSA is going to decide this year whether they should switch.

They're also considering adopting another method similar to that used at Israeli airports.  PROFILING.  Yes, the Israelis profile....but they don't call it that.  No. They have a more civilized explanation. They rely less on the physical security but more so on the visual scrutiny of the passenger the minute they walk in the door.  If their suspicions are elevated, they will engage this person in a conversation, assessing things like, demeanor and body language and yes, they do take in to consideration sex and race.  Imagine that.  What a novel idea.  It could work.

The Greatest American Novel

 The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,
 by Mark Twain 

is about to be censored -- all in the name of political correctness. That's right. A brilliant book and literary classic is about to be changed after over a hundred years. This is a tale of adventure involving many unique characters, as told through the eyes of a misfit boy in the deep south.  This book was first published in 1894 and made reference to the "N" word and "injun" numerous times.
Now the world wants to do a rewrite and replace those words with "slave" and "Indian" respectively.  Oh come on, people!

This is censorship plain and simple!  Are we going to rewrite history too?
On last night's episode of the Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert said it best in all of his scary truth humor,
"It's great that they took the N-word out of "Huckleberry Finn." Now get to work on "Moby D-Word."


What other exceptions could be made for the rule? Any thing goes: historical documents, books, movies, songs. What else needs to be changed? 


Samuel Longhorn Clemens aka: Mark Twain, a renowned author and humorist, probably wouldn't be laughing at this one.
Editing and censoring a classic piece of literature is a horrible act.

Crack Head uses His Crack

Felix Booker, of Oak Ridge, TN gets the supreme dumb ass award.

Concealing crack in your crack results in a trip to the hospital for a serious body cavity search.

Click on the defendant's name and read the details of what our stupid ass friend did to deserve such a prestigious award.

The defendant's attorney is testing the boundaries of case law when it comes to how far law enforcement can go in their search for illegal drugs and whether it outweighs the health and safety of the jack ass who put it there.

The novelty of this legal issue will almost certainly draw the attention of a federal appeals court and this guy is going to be the butt of endless ass jokes.