New Year 2011

For those of you working this evening, a message from an  old school friend.

Enjoy this clip from back in the day.

The Susan Smith saga continues....thanks to Harpo

In October 1994, Susan Smith of Union, SC reported to the police that a black male car jacked her, kidnapping her 2 young sons that were still in the car.  For days, she made well publicized and somewhat tearful pleas to the public seeking the safe return of her children.  After about 9 days, she eventually admitted to police that she had let her car roll in to the John D. Long Lake while her 2 sons were strapped inside.  They both drowned.

Some say that her media statements were cold and automated, with no signs of emotional distress or concern for the whereabouts of her children.  It wasn't until she was eventually arrested for 2 counts of murder that any emotions were finally revealed.

When it finally came to light that she had lied about a black man stealing her car with her sons inside, a racially charged media circus was ignited.  The volunteers, family and the public that supported her, all felt betrayed.
She stated she had disposed of her sons because of her interest in a wealthy man who had no interest in her or her ready made family.  It was never known if she had even considered relinquishing custody of her sons to her ex husband, the children's father.

She pleaded not guilty, and used the mental disease/defect defense. Many bizarre things came to light during her trial. She admitted to having been sexually assaulted by her step father as a child.  The step father admitted to it under oath and then claimed their sex was consensual well in to her adulthood.  Ok, so she had a bizarre childhood, even trying to commit suicide twice, but still...SHE MURDERED HER CHILDREN!

The Solcitor [DA] asked for the death penalty in this case but the jury spared her and she got a life sentence with the eligibility for parole after 30 years. She will be eligible for parole when she is 53 years old in 2024.

During her incarceration, she develops a sexually transmitted disease which led to the discovery that she was having sex with 2 correctional officers.  The CO's not only lost their jobs, but were also arrested and charged with misconduct in office.  As a result, she was transferred to another correctional facility.

She also gained some publicity for posting her picture (see below) and profile on a new website called writeaprisoner.com.  After a good deal of public outcry, her profile was pulled and the website later dissolved.

Fast forwarding to the present, Oprah Winfrey admits on her show recently that she's been trying to get an interview with Susan Smith for years.  It's the final year for her show and this interview is on her bucket list.
Winfrey petitioned Governor elect, Nikki Haley, to be allowed to interview Susan Smith.
The SC Dept. of Corrections has a strict and long standing policy about not allowing prisoners to be interviewed.  Gov. elect Haley denied Winfrey's request, stating everyone had suffered enough from this tragedy and she has no intention of changing the rules.

I cannot believe that Winfrey would even want to consider giving this woman any kind of forum - all for the sake of ratings and notoriety.  Susan Smith is a narcissistic child killer who should have gotten the death penalty.  Oprah Winfrey should be ashamed and embarrassed for even asking.

Cough due to cold?

Ah yes, cold and flu season is upon us and it's safe to say that some of us will avoid going to the doctor at any cost.  In fact, that's the problem -- it costs.
There is no cure for the common cold so we know the schpiel -
drink plenty of fluids, get plenty of rest, eat Mom's chicken soup, and fight off the symptoms with any number of over the counter cold remedies.

I have developed a cough, that I can only hope won't manifest itself in to bronchitis.  After a very lengthy holiday road trip, I decide to take a quick stop at my local CVS to pick up some cough syrup and some milk before going home and crawling in to bed.

I made 2 mistakes:

1.  I foolishly believed that I could just run in real quick for my 2 items like it was your local stop 'n rob.
2.  I also left everything in the car and grabbed only a $20.00 bill.  [Yes, some people do occasionally use cash these days.]

This drug store was the busiest I've ever seen it on a Monday evening and there's only 2 employees working in the store.  One in the pharmacy - and it's packed with people back there, and one on the front register.  The young man running the register is about 25-30 years old, and is wearing a shirt and tie, not the usual blue CVS shirt.  I take it he's an Assistant Manager - or Assistant Manager in training - or an Assistant Manager in training to be a pain in my ass.

I get in line with my 2 items.  It was a strange, haphazard line and there are 3 people ahead of me.  What bothers me most is that he [the cashier/Asst. Manager] is spending an inordinate amount of time chatting up this pretty little blonde that he's checking out.  Granted, she has quite a bit of merchandise, but the usual 18-21 year olds I see working in here can always manage to make that line move a whole hell of a lot faster.

I'm tired.  Time is ticking.  I'm shifting my weight on either foot.  He's not getting her phone number, but he sure is kissing her ass. This guy is being so disgustingly pleasant that you just want to knock some ugly in to him!  Ok finally....she's out.  Next guy.  Blah, blah. Next guy...he wants cigarettes.  He's clearly younger than me. The Assistant Ass is being a bit solicitous to him too in that they don't have his brand and their delivery truck is expected tomorrow, but we have the shorter version.  Doesn't ask for ID to make sure he's old enough and responsible enough to smoke tobacco.  FINALLY!  My turn!  My turn!

I put my stuff on the counter and hand over my $20.00.  He rings up the items and is bagging them when he comes up with this brilliant comment that about floored me.....I'll need to see some ID to purchase the cough syrup?  ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?   He says he's not.  By this time, the check out line is snaking around an aisle and I just want to get the flock out of there!  I replied, quite loudly, "You want me to show you my ID to buy cough syrup?"  I'm looking out the corner of my eye, possibly looking for some affirmation or hope, or understanding from the other poor saps behind me.  It ain't happenin'.
I asked (with indignant sarcasm) if he'd hold up the line just for me so I could hustle on out to my car and get my ID.  "Sure" he says ever so pleasantly.  I still wanna slap the smug off this guy's face.

I bring it back, show him my ID and he glances at it.  OH HELL NO!  I asked him what point that served...it's obvious I'm over 21 and I'm only buying one bottle.  He starts stammering this crap about it's federal law and store policy, blah blah.  I suggest they get some signs put up because I've never heard of such a thing.  I'm too tired to argue and I hear some grumbling behind me so I take my lumps and exit the store.

So now, it's the next day and I've been to another major grocery store chain with a pharmacy and asked about this so called law.  The pharmacist says that a consumer must be over 18 and can only purchase one bottle at a time.  They do not check your ID unless they have some doubts.  I buy some Mucinex that contains a higher amount of Dextromethorphan than the cough syrup I bought yesterday.  No one asked for my ID.
I call another retail chain pharmacy and pose the same question.  This time, I get a giggly young girl who flat out says that they use discretion, but stores like Target and CVS do check ID's.  Holy shit!

After all that, I come across this article.

Then I found the Dextromethorphan Reduction Act simply requires the purchaser be over 18.  This statement about our big government interference just puts it all in perspective.
Now I ask you, does this serve any purpose?  Who is winning the war on drugs?


Shall we start asking for ID from people whenever they purchase an aerosol product just so we can make a concerted effort to deter "huffing" by teenagers?

There's a moral to this story, but I'm too sick to figure it out.

Don't Ask

In what seemed like another Democratic campaign promise push, President Obama hastily signed in to law the repeal of the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy that was once enacted by fellow Democrat, Pres. Bill Clinton.

Yes, the Obama man is seemingly cleaning off his desk before the holiday break.  

The one bill he seems to be dragging his feet on is the 9/11 First Responder benefit package.  

This one should have taken priority. 

Why is he stalling?

As for Don't Ask Don't Tell.....

Does it matter?

California Dreaming: A War Story

I was dispatched to an ATM kiosk to assist a state trooper with an unruly subject.  An unusual location, but I haul ass over there cause, you know, another cop needs assistance.

When I get there, a trooper is trying to explain something to an individual about posting money for a traffic citation he had just received.  The gentlemen wasn't even trying to understand what was being explained to him, and probably didn't want to.

As the trooper explains it, the traffic offender has a California driver's license and he was charged with speeding, 20 mph over the posted speed.  Since California is not a member of the Non Resident Violator's compact [NRVC], he must post bond immediately or go directly to jail.  Since this guy was active duty Air Force, the trooper was doing him a favor by following him over to an ATM to withdraw the funds.
This traffic offender wasn't buying the story.  In fact, he was doing all he could to push the trooper's buttons.  He was trying my patience too.

Since we weren't too far from the local Air Base grounds and we had a good working relationship with their military police personnel, I have dispatch see if they'll send a patrol unit over to try and reason with the guy.
They actually respond and 2 Air base police officers make a half assed attempt to explain the situation to him.  He just won't buy this story no way, no how.  His reasoning is that all stupid, redneck cops in the south are on the take and there's no such thing as the "compact."

This bone head member of the Air force has orders to ship out in the morning.  He's still convinced we're just out to get his money.  The Air base police explain once again that if he doesn't pay, he will go to jail, miss his MAC flight in the morning and then be UA for reporting to his new duty station.  This stupid SOB just doesn't give up.  The Air Base police get his info, hand his military ID over to me, and tell me he's all mine.  Oh wow, put a bow on it, baby!  I give the guy one last chance to do the right thing or face the consequences.
[Neither of us really wanted to lock up an active duty member of the military, but he was starting to get on our nerves and becoming annoyingly stupid.]

Well, since he's loud and boisterous within the city limits, I have to arrest him for disorderly conduct.  The stupid son of bitch is now trying to resist.  The trooper and I go at with this guy, with me showing his cheek the sidewalk.  The trooper just has him on the traffic offense but now I have him on dis con and resisting.  We're going to court in the morning folks and this little piece of shit just put me past my shift.
Ain't it always the way?  We don't get OT either.

We get him in the back seat of my car and I have to transport him over to county lock up.  His mouth is just going all the way.  He says his Dad is a CHiP and knows all the things they do to people.  Slamming on the brakes for those invisible dogs or cats so that he'll fall forward and get a screen test.  He knows the trick about slamming his head on the top of the car and then making him trip.  Oh yea, he knows them all....his Dad's a cop.  Well, I tell him that pretty soon that cat will run out in front of me if he doesn't shut the fuck up!
He also needs to consider his actions when his Father does find out about this.  He will not be pleased.
He keeps running his mouth and I get so pissed that I turn up the car AM/FM radio full blast.  He gets the hint and closes his mouth the rest of the way.

He's sullen now and calmed down a bit.  I turn down the radio and we're about half mile from the jail, when a damn cat does run out in front of me!  Ah, the irony.  He falls forward just a bit, but he didn't get a screen test.  I could have hit the brakes a lot harder than I did.

In central booking he starts running his mouth once again and I hand over his ID's to the intake officers.  First thing out of their mouth is, "California DL.  I can only imagine what happened."  I tell him the worst part is he's active duty military with orders to be at another air base by a specific time tomorrow afternoon.  Well, looks like you're not gonna make it, Mr. California.  Now, just hand over all your personal belongings and we'll get on with this.  He gets an attitude with them and well....they usually strip you and show you the Presidential suite but they signed him in and I wanted out of there before they changed their minds.

Next morning, the Trooper and myself are in city court with this guy, who I might add, isn't looking so hot.  I don't think he got much sleep the night before.  His eyes are all puffy and red, he's got a little scrape on his cheek, probably from where I showed him the sidewalk.  He just looks like a nightmare.  Poor baby.

Well, the Trooper and I regale the judge with our tale of 3 different law enforcement jurisdictions trying to explain NRVC to him and that we all were doing everything in our power to work with a member of our active duty armed forces, but he didn't see it that way.  He was loud, belligerent, uncooperative, he resisted arrest and refused to post bond on his citation.  The judge shakes his head and tells the guy that he brought all this on himself.  His attitude and actions just bought him a hefty fine and 10 days. You're AWOL, son!

You done fucked up!

Late that afternoon, I report in for my regular shift and the watch commander calls me over to his office.  He wants to know if I arrested one guy in the Air Force.  Seems his Dad really is a CHiP and he and the Lt. go back.  The Lt. says that he would ask me about what happened and talk about the charges.  But he already told his Father that if I had arrested him, he had to seriously fuck up.  I give him the brief run down, and before I even finish, he says, "That's enough.  Fuck the asshole.  His old man said he probably deserved it anyhow!"

Well I'm relatively sure that pretty boy enjoyed his 10 days of R & R -- courtesy of my city and county.

Pancakes, Sausage and Eggs

I just can't help letting go of what I think is the most costly and less than satisfactory means of attempting to make the friendly skies safer. 


It is only a matter of time before some malevolent individual learns a way to defy the full body image scanner.  Well, it's recently been discovered that there's a way to deceive the images of the TSA's scanner by using an item that will conceal any number of  weapons or other contraband.  With this added cover, the viewing agent sees only someone who could stand to lose a few pounds.


Curious to know what that concealing device is?  Pancakes. That's right, you heard me. 
They are PETN pancakes.  Pentaerythritol tetranitrate.  A powerfully high explosive molded and shaped like a pancake and when applied to the skin, it can conceal any number of things from box cutters to wires.
To refresh, this is the same substance used by the Shoe Bomber, the Christmas day bomb plot and most recently, the cargo plane bomb plot that used toner cartridges.


It is very clear that while the "pancake" can conceal many items, it should be easily discovered by the standard physical pat down performed by the agents themselves.  However, the agents appear more concerned about those 3.5 fl oz bottles than they are about handguns slipping through the screening process.  The ABC Evening News recently reported that many agents are "asleep at the wheel" when it comes to the discovery of a .40 caliber handgun.  Certainly not a small handgun, by any means.  Repeated tests have shown that they are failing miserably and receive little more than verbal or written reprimands when it comes to serious infractions in their job performance.
The human element is not infallible.  Worse yet, the multi million dollar high tech machinery has now been proven useless for certain explosives. 


This scanner defying pancake mixture is a serious problem to our already ineffectual airline security protocols.


But as always, our own comedy channel hero has devised a plan to use a pancake mixture that would envy the suits at IHOP.  
Just follow the quote...


"From now on, we can use strategically placed pancakes to cover our sausage and eggs."
-- Stephen Colbert--

Can't do it yourself?

Yes indeedee, it's that time of the year where the odds are really high that you'll be dumped.  Whether it's a simple end of a relationship or a divorce.  If you're not man or woman enough to do it yourself, you can pay anywhere from $10.00 to $50.00 to have it done for you.

If it's too complicated or dramatic, "I dump 4U" will do it for you!  I dump will make the call and tell all.
All you have to do is give them the reasons and what you want to say to the dumpee.   

They proudly proclaim themselves as "assholes."  Each and every break up is recorded, and sometimes used as examples in their advertising campaign.  Just go to their website and listen to some of their recorded break ups.  While some of these stories appear to be fodder for the Jerry Springer show, you just can't help wanting to listen to someone else's drama.

"A small price to pay for piece of mind."