California Dreaming: A War Story

I was dispatched to an ATM kiosk to assist a state trooper with an unruly subject.  An unusual location, but I haul ass over there cause, you know, another cop needs assistance.

When I get there, a trooper is trying to explain something to an individual about posting money for a traffic citation he had just received.  The gentlemen wasn't even trying to understand what was being explained to him, and probably didn't want to.

As the trooper explains it, the traffic offender has a California driver's license and he was charged with speeding, 20 mph over the posted speed.  Since California is not a member of the Non Resident Violator's compact [NRVC], he must post bond immediately or go directly to jail.  Since this guy was active duty Air Force, the trooper was doing him a favor by following him over to an ATM to withdraw the funds.
This traffic offender wasn't buying the story.  In fact, he was doing all he could to push the trooper's buttons.  He was trying my patience too.

Since we weren't too far from the local Air Base grounds and we had a good working relationship with their military police personnel, I have dispatch see if they'll send a patrol unit over to try and reason with the guy.
They actually respond and 2 Air base police officers make a half assed attempt to explain the situation to him.  He just won't buy this story no way, no how.  His reasoning is that all stupid, redneck cops in the south are on the take and there's no such thing as the "compact."

This bone head member of the Air force has orders to ship out in the morning.  He's still convinced we're just out to get his money.  The Air base police explain once again that if he doesn't pay, he will go to jail, miss his MAC flight in the morning and then be UA for reporting to his new duty station.  This stupid SOB just doesn't give up.  The Air Base police get his info, hand his military ID over to me, and tell me he's all mine.  Oh wow, put a bow on it, baby!  I give the guy one last chance to do the right thing or face the consequences.
[Neither of us really wanted to lock up an active duty member of the military, but he was starting to get on our nerves and becoming annoyingly stupid.]

Well, since he's loud and boisterous within the city limits, I have to arrest him for disorderly conduct.  The stupid son of bitch is now trying to resist.  The trooper and I go at with this guy, with me showing his cheek the sidewalk.  The trooper just has him on the traffic offense but now I have him on dis con and resisting.  We're going to court in the morning folks and this little piece of shit just put me past my shift.
Ain't it always the way?  We don't get OT either.

We get him in the back seat of my car and I have to transport him over to county lock up.  His mouth is just going all the way.  He says his Dad is a CHiP and knows all the things they do to people.  Slamming on the brakes for those invisible dogs or cats so that he'll fall forward and get a screen test.  He knows the trick about slamming his head on the top of the car and then making him trip.  Oh yea, he knows them all....his Dad's a cop.  Well, I tell him that pretty soon that cat will run out in front of me if he doesn't shut the fuck up!
He also needs to consider his actions when his Father does find out about this.  He will not be pleased.
He keeps running his mouth and I get so pissed that I turn up the car AM/FM radio full blast.  He gets the hint and closes his mouth the rest of the way.

He's sullen now and calmed down a bit.  I turn down the radio and we're about half mile from the jail, when a damn cat does run out in front of me!  Ah, the irony.  He falls forward just a bit, but he didn't get a screen test.  I could have hit the brakes a lot harder than I did.

In central booking he starts running his mouth once again and I hand over his ID's to the intake officers.  First thing out of their mouth is, "California DL.  I can only imagine what happened."  I tell him the worst part is he's active duty military with orders to be at another air base by a specific time tomorrow afternoon.  Well, looks like you're not gonna make it, Mr. California.  Now, just hand over all your personal belongings and we'll get on with this.  He gets an attitude with them and well....they usually strip you and show you the Presidential suite but they signed him in and I wanted out of there before they changed their minds.

Next morning, the Trooper and myself are in city court with this guy, who I might add, isn't looking so hot.  I don't think he got much sleep the night before.  His eyes are all puffy and red, he's got a little scrape on his cheek, probably from where I showed him the sidewalk.  He just looks like a nightmare.  Poor baby.

Well, the Trooper and I regale the judge with our tale of 3 different law enforcement jurisdictions trying to explain NRVC to him and that we all were doing everything in our power to work with a member of our active duty armed forces, but he didn't see it that way.  He was loud, belligerent, uncooperative, he resisted arrest and refused to post bond on his citation.  The judge shakes his head and tells the guy that he brought all this on himself.  His attitude and actions just bought him a hefty fine and 10 days. You're AWOL, son!

You done fucked up!

Late that afternoon, I report in for my regular shift and the watch commander calls me over to his office.  He wants to know if I arrested one guy in the Air Force.  Seems his Dad really is a CHiP and he and the Lt. go back.  The Lt. says that he would ask me about what happened and talk about the charges.  But he already told his Father that if I had arrested him, he had to seriously fuck up.  I give him the brief run down, and before I even finish, he says, "That's enough.  Fuck the asshole.  His old man said he probably deserved it anyhow!"

Well I'm relatively sure that pretty boy enjoyed his 10 days of R & R -- courtesy of my city and county.