How to Piss off the Police: A War Story

After normal business hours, our city garage was closed and if we had a minor issue, we could go to this local service station that had a contract with the city.  My headlight wasn't working so I went there, hoping it was just a light bulb.  I'm standing around waiting for the service tech to deliver his prognosis and watching this 20 something white female go to the pay phone and make a call.  [Yea, I know - pay phone -]  She was on the other side of the parking lot, but I could tell from her actions that she was quite upset and fidgety.  While she's on the pay phone, she turns, sees me, turns back and hangs up the phone.  Just as she's walking, dispatch is calling me advising that there's a 911 hang up on the pay phone of my location, could I handle it?  By that time, we're standing in front of each other.  I advise dispatch I've got it.

It was a story no cop wants to hear....

She was upset, angry, shocked...you name it.  She started crying about her baby.  I calm her down and ask her where the baby is.  She says she's at home with her Mom, she's safe and her house is just around the corner.   My complainant says that she's been dating this guy for a couple of months or so and well....she couldn't explain it.  She handed me half dozen Polaroid photos.  [Oh yea, this is a really old story, isn't it?]
In all of these photos were pictures of her beautiful blond 4 year old daughter  posed in various stages of undress and in provocative positions.  She said she found the photos accidentally when she picked up her boyfriend's duffel bag.  I am more than sickened by these photos.

Situations like this require immediate supervisor notification.  I advise him briefly via radio that I had a sexual assault reported and that I am presently at the service station with the complainant.  He responds to my location and I ask the service tech to step it up.  He can't find what's wrong.  Screw it!  Just give me the keys.

We go to her house and Grandma is there with this little sweet faced cherub.  The child appears to be a normal and inquisitive 4 year old.  She's very shy around everyone and doesn't feel like talking now.  We're required to get statements from both the Mom and then....the poor girl will need be examined to determine if there's any further physical injuries.

Grandma is staying at the house as the boyfriend is expected to come by shortly.  Granny's pretty pissed and looks like she could kick some serious ass.  I  have to ask her if she's got any weapons in the house or plans on getting ugly.  She won't.  She agrees to do as instructed and will notify us once he arrives.  We plant an unmarked unit nearby and the supervisor will also wait in the area.

Word is traveling fast....

I transport Mom and daughter to HQ and take them upstairs to the Detective Division.  4 Detectives and the Watch Commander are all waiting for me.  Right away, men are all cooing over our little sweetheart and soda and candy are appearing.  The Lt. has to shoo some away because it is over-whelming her a bit.  Sweetheart bonds right away with one of our toughest and meanest dinosaur detectives.  He has 2 daughters of his own.

We're getting statements and making arrangements for the child to be examined.  Since it involves a juvenile, a Detective from that division is now handling it.  I make the initial report only.  Before I leave, I am about to hand over the photos to the Juvenile Detective, when others are breathing down my neck and they want to see them.  I hear some uncouth words, I see anger and I see disgust boiling up inside 4 other men.  They all want to go to the house and wait for the scum to come home.

About an hour or so later, we get the call that boyfriend has arrived.  I race down there because I know what's going to happen.  I get there just as the Detectives are cuffing him.  The uniform Sgt. is making sure that we're cool.  They put him in my marked unit and we proceed to HQ.
Mom and daughter have been transported to a medical facility for follow up so it's safe to bring him up.  Well, safe for the girl and Mom.

I take the scumbag upstairs and basically do the perp walk through the bull pen.  Jesus, if looks could kill.  I hear one Detective say,  "is that the Son of a Bitch?"  "That M.F. perv so much as looks at me funny, he's gonna know pain...."  And on it went.

The Detectives Mirandize and then question him.  No one coerced a confession out of him, but the SOB knew that his best bet was to move the process along and cooperate.  5 people were now glaring at him.  We get all the paperwork processed. including his confession, and I then set out to transport him to the county lock up to await his bond hearing.

Ordinarily, 1 uniform would be sufficient to escort a prisoner downstairs.  Unless he was a real bad ass, then maybe 2.  This guy....had 4 detectives and myself.  He was sweating.  He said that everyone was treating him like he was a mass murderer or something.  The "or something" was it.  A child molester is a higher form of scum. I sensed everyone was hoping that his asshole would break bad.  Any excuse.  As it was, a door might have accidentally knocked him on his ass and perhaps someone may have forgotten to tell him to watch his head when he got in to the police car.
I have to convince them to back off.  I don't want to have to go to the hospital with this pedophile bastard.  Any signs of injury, and the jail will refuse intake.

It was fortunate -  the medical exam and through some questioning of our little angel, it appears the sick bastard had done only what the pictures proved and that disgusting shit was more than enough.

Now that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how you piss off the police!