The P.O.P. Factor

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"Just the facts, ma'am." More often than not, politically correct bullshit won't be found here. Pardon me while I exercise my 1st amendment right! I welcome all to my little world of bitches, moans, gripes and complaints, and sometimes, the downright freakin' odd. Take a seat and join me. I love a good story.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Short Stories

Ah, the holidays....



Full of fun family dysfunction and stupid human tricks. It's the time of year where people you don't see much get together, eat loads of food and consume a great deal of alcohol. All that pent up frustration you've been holding on to all year, just bursts like a dam and sometimes it's a no holds barred confrontation.
Allow me to share some first and second hand stories with you....

Nursing homes are often an unpleasant place. Sometimes the only thing you've got left is the people in there with you.
2 old men are causing such a ruckus arguing over a pair of shoes that the attendant is forced to call the police to intercede. By the time the uniforms get there, both old men don't remember anything about an argument.

A turkey fryer may not have lived up to the expectations of someone so it wound up in the middle of the road on a dark highway.  Someone else found it the hard way.

A family feud forces the homeowner to call the police. Instead of talking to the operator, he leaves the line open and the loud and verbal argument can be heard. Someone finally gets on the phone and says he wants the police to get people out of his house and then hangs up. Police will naturally be dispatched, but now you force the operator to call you back.  Once again, the homeowner picks up the phone, says nothing, and hangs up. The 3rd time the operator calls back and gets the homeowner on the line pressing for info.  They's all family and they's all leaving and he don't need the cops no more. Too late, 3 units show up because about 10 family members who can't get along for one day.

A guy is hanging around an all night drug store and the manager has asked him to leave. He's homeless and has nowhere to go. The clerk lets him use the phone to get some assistance and he calls 911. After stating that fact to the 911 operator and giving his name, he hangs up the phone. Upon call back, the manager answers the phone and indicates she was unaware the hapless homeless dude called 911, but that's ok, she wants him out anyway. As luck would have it, the homeless dude has an outstanding felony warrant out on him. Homeless situation resolved.

A kid decides to sell his ipad on Craigs list. He meets up with a guy in a restaurant parking lot and he sells the device for $50. cash. The naive 18 year old goes to the nearest convenience store and they tell him it's a counterfeit bill. Bad counterfeit at that.

A man calls police complaining of a man urinating on the side of the restaurant. The man is eating his dinner and tells the operator that the one night he can afford to treat himself to a meal out, he has to witness this. After this lowlife relieves himself, he goes back to the bar. The witness tells the manager, who then tries to persuade the public pee-er to pay his bill and leave the premises. When police arrive, the one witness to the crime doesn't want to be bothered with following up so the peeing perp is let go with a stern warning never to come back.

Loads of people think that cops all travel around with those handy little slim jims and will assist you when you lock your keys in your car. In some departments, it ain't gonna happen. It's an unnecessary liability that departments don't want to be burdened with. People will call 911 for that and get angry when you tell them you can't help unless there's a child or animal trapped inside. One guy went so far as to then blatantly lie that now he had a child in there. When the dispatcher told him that she would have to dispatch the fire department to extricate, he changed his tune. This moron later called back and wanted to speak with a supervisor. I'm told the Sarge set him straight.

If you have the late night munchies after a hard night of drinking, you may find that the drive in restaurant you're patronizing isn't too fond of drunk drivers either. They will actually hold up your order in an effort to prevent you from leaving until the police get there. One drunken moron couldn't navigate through the drive in lane, almost striking the building, but managed a curb instead. The police arrive and notice that the whole front end of his car is totally smashed up. It's all fresh damage on a pretty Lincoln and he didn't do it there. He's busted for DUI when he tries to drive away from the 2 police cars but only manages to navigate the car in to a ditch.

A woman comes to the police station with her semi new cell phone in it's original box. She has had some issues with an ex boyfriend and she believes this phone is being monitored. There's some kind of GPS tracking device on it because her ex always seems to know where she is and what she's doing. She wants it analyzed.

A woman calls 911 to report her husband missing. They had been drinking and arguing and he left 5 hours ago and doesn't answer his phone. She wants police.

Ya just can't make this shit up.

On another note:
One thing people should never hesitate to do...don't hesitate to call the police if you see something out of place or suspicious. Many "suspicious" calls have lead to arrests ranging from outstanding warrants, trespass, burglary, possession of stolen property, etc. Cops want to get the bad guys off the streets just as much as the public wants them off the street.

Stay safe this holiday season.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"A kid decides to sell his ipad on Craigs list."

That one was doomed from the start

Mad Jack said...

I laughed until I cried at some of these. I do not know how the police handle this kind of stuff and keep a straight face at all times.

I can just see the questions at the nursing home... shoes? What shoes? Then there's the lady with the cell phone whose boyfriend is tracking her. What a howl!

Hang in there, Officer!